Ok, perhaps I didn't sleep with him, but he did proposition me in a little known Camden area bar. Now I must admit, his lothario persona precedes him by a good 5000 miles when he goes in any direction, but given his proclivity to seduce members of the opposite sex, I was a bit taken a back when he approached me with talk of football. To be honest I was surprised that he is a West Ham fan, with an admiration bordering on obsession for DeCanio.
Then I was surprised even further when a pint of bitter and few winks and nods later, he's proposing that join him for a little rough and tumble at his place. He mentioned that he'd never been with a Bear before and he wanted to try it out. Part of me must admit I was curious to spend more time with him, not in a sexual fashion, but just so that I might get some material for a song or two out of the encounter. Then my wits returned to me and I looked him straight in the eye and said "Russell, I'm very flattered, but I'm married."
Apparently that wasn't enough for him. Russell, or Russ as he prefers, is not used to taking no for an answer. He's undoubtedly bedded a few married people before, so he thought that I'd probably be up for it. It was only when I let him know that my wife M. would probably be upset if I came home wreeking of Brand-sweat (shudder...) that he started to back-track and pretend the whole thing was a joke, like on his programs. I don't listen to them though, so I don't understand his type of humour.
Anyways, we amicably parted ways with me paying for my own beer (I don't like owing anybody anything), and he sauntered off to start chatting up a bird in the corner with whom he might have better prospects. And that was my surprise encounter with Russell Brand.
That guy is yucky, not to mention that he needs a shower and to use a good conditioner once in awhile as well.
Posted by: Vn | November 03, 2008 at 10:54 PM